RATIONAL PARENTING  

It makes sense! (We hope...)

Committed to finding ways out of the coercion/self-sacrifice mire of conventional parenting. We are variously critical rationalists, libertarians, home educators, attachment-parents, but we take our ideas where we find them.

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Rational Parenting: the website: more about how to grow consentual family dynamics


Editor:
Alice Bachini

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Camille Bauer
Emma

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I did not post the last post three times!

There is only one of it according to the editing page. Blogger is just going nuts and I don't know how to stop it. Grr.

  posted by alice @ 4:05 PM


Wednesday, December 17, 2003  

 
Struggling to make ends meet

I've been watching some American religious shows on cable TV. There is a particularly American story that goes like this: "When I was a child, my parents worked every hour God gave them, and just about managed to buy a house and enough food for us all to eat. When I was an adult, I worked in every unpleasant job you can think of, but one day I finally managed to save enough to start my business." And now, in their fifties or whatever, those people are rich.

America is a country built on growing your income. Material aspiration is inherent in its values. And what the rest of the world doesn't fully appreciate is, this aspiration is not evil or amoral but founded in a particular Christian moral philosophy: the idea of creating your own future, improving your own life, bringing about good destinies. It's the frontier spirit. Part of the story is, "My parents had almost nothing, but they took pride in helping out decrepit aged neighbours and they saved every penny they could for Christmas presents for me and my brother." Money is what you need to do good things.

Families who home-educate and have TCS morals about bringing up their children are often financially poorer than their contemporaries. They give up half their income in order to do what they consider best for their children: helping them to learn and grow in good ways without the horrible coercion and time-wasting that occurs in schools. As the children get older, perhaps it is easier to be flexible about time and find ways of supplementing the family income. But helping children adequately isn't just about giving up work if necessary to be around when they need you: it's also about spending money!

Nobody would argue today that children should not have books, just because children 100 years ago managed without them. Good parents try to get their children whatever great new things will help them learn- computers, CD roms, videos, playstations. (Those who don't think playstations constitute learning, read this). And what about interesting holidays to amazing places? A bedroom with enough space to do things and some privacy? A violin, ice-skating lessons, the latest Harry Potter...

Of course we can't afford everything right now. Of course we don't get into so much debt we end up homeless. We just do our best. And we do it because we want to help them learn and grow, and that means getting as much as possible of what will help them. Parents like this are pioneers, every bit as much as the people on "Little House on the Prairie". And pioneering isn't lucrative, it's expensive. But who can begin to imagine where it will lead us, to be at the forefront of this amazing new project?

(On the other hand, those people do go a bit overboard sometimes. This is an onscreen caption from the start of the show: To begin a relationship with Jesus Christ phone 98475387- 486735-384646

Um, yeah... just don't expect him to answer in person every time...)


  posted by alice @ 8:19 AM


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